


Say you're mine?

by ZhengXu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26610988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhengXu/pseuds/ZhengXu
Summary: Felix is dealing with some issues in his head, falling for not only a group member but having to deal with all the thoughts beating himself down from the things he wants from bangchan....a relationship.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Kudos: 68





	Say you're mine?

**Author's Note:**

> this has a happy ending this is purely just for the fun of it please don't be mad, I respect stray kids and am 100% a stay!

Felix had dealt with alot being part of stray kids, it happens every group has their ups and downs they really all love eachother, nothing can keep them apart.  
felix loves his members they have all been super sweet to him, especially bang chan. chan was always a light in his head the best leader he could have hoped for.  
felix never really ever questioned his sexuality? he didnt really have time for it to be fair they live such busy schedules you know? 

these days felix could feel himself getting butterflies when chan entered a room or when chan would call to ask if he needed anything to eat or from the store. he grew up in a pretty..religious house so to speak? so being interested in the same gender never really popped in his head as a good thing, he didnt wanna disappoint anyone.

He was perfectly fine if his member were gay or Bi, he loved them and would be happy for them, he just would never feel the same for himself. hes been thinking about it alot recently, hes 20 years old now, Quarantine hit kpop industry pretty hard, alot more time on their hands than usual, no concerts or fanmeets so he spends alot of time at home when hes not practicing And chans been giving him butterflies. hes been thinking about how nice his accent is, how chans body has been looking more toned recently.

..how soft chans voice could go... 

[He stops himself from thinking by covering his eyes] 

he stand up with his heart racing patting himself on the chest trying to calm it down. 

"You gotta chill felix, youre fine..youre not questioning anything you know youre just a sensitive person" he tells himself walking to the kitchen to make something warm to drink. 

theres hyunjin and han sitting at the kitchen table eating some pineapple and playing uno, they take a glance at felix whose holding his stomach rubbing it up and down to calm his nerves. 

Hyunjin: "hey felix you okay youre looking more pale than usual."

Felix: "oh yeah im okay just got some stuff to figure out before i sleep is all. im all good dont worry" *he lets out a small smile before making a glass of tea and heading back to the room* 

hyunjin lets it go giving him a little friendly slap on felix's thigh when felix walks past him to the rooms felix gives a head pat back to hyunjin walking off. 

This whole time chan has been asleep in their rooms, chan had a hard workout day so felix didnt really blame him, felix just figured hed call it a night with his tea, it was 10pm already and he was pretty tired, so he changed his clothes into some night clothes which really just consisted of a hoodie and sweat pants no surprise. he wasnt even sure it was his, it looked like hans but the dorms in general arent the most clean with 8 members. 

he laid in bed with this tugging feeling of guilt in the back of his mind. He hadnt done anything wrong his thoughts are clean and primarily only worried for the health of his other members. He knew that.

Felix closed his eyes to get some rest, chan still kinda weighing on his mind, what would he feel like? What does his lips feel like? He has fluffy lips. Chans aussie accent reminding him of home...huh..

Felix looking over a chans bunk, his arm hanging off definitely passed out asleep, but..his arms so..soft looking.

Felix rolled over in the opposite direction stopping his thoughts. He shouldnt be thinking about this. He felt panic coming on, panic about his feelings, panic about what hes thinking.

Panic about why chans on his mind constantly.  
He felt alone.. he felt wrong. Letting the thoughts run, degrading himself cause all he could think about chans body.

How it would feel being in chans arms, engulfed in a cozy hoodie on a couch somewhere.

Maybe...more than that?..

No.. he would be disgusting..felix would tear his group apart, hed slip up somewhere like he feels he always does..

He lets out light tears into the mattress. Letting sleep drift him away to hopefully a happier place in his head...

Next day hes greeted to an alarm clock going off, his face puffy, bed head and dried tears on his face he sits up.

He takes a look around to see where everyone is, he can hear Changbin Snoring but besides that everyone seemed to be out of the room.

So he gets up and walked to the bathroom hoping for a shower, to get these dried tears off his face and just clear his head.

He knocks on the door to the bathroon and only heard a muffled "come in" so he let himself in only to seen chan and Hyunjin fighting to see who could brush their teeth the fastest to get breakfast first -.- no surprise

He took a quick glance at hyunjin and chan befpre walking behind them and waiting for them to leave so he could shower

"Oi rough night aye mate?" Chan teases felix

Felix being half asleep and not even aware to make decisions just nods slowly with his eyes closed still, just waiting on them to be done but hyunjin already left before felix opened his eyes.

Chan took a good look up and down at felix his slim figure standing there just wobbling back and forth eyes closed half asleep. Only to see he'd been crying.

Hey felix?"

"Mhmm.." felix replied wiping the died saliva off his mouth

"Are you okay? Were you crying?" Chan asked

Felix's eyes opened up taking a glance at chan who was in front of his face.

"Yeah but its okay hyung, its nothing really dont even waste your breath on me"

Chan was shocked at this reply, felix never said stuff like that, it worried him alot.

"Felix whats wrong?" He asked shutting the door behind them for some privacy which is hard to find in the dorms

"Its nothing hyung really please.." felix asked looking down at the ground pretty awake at this point eyes feeling hot with tears

"No its not.. im your leader im here for all of you. You have concerns you come to me." Chan said grabbing some toilet paper and drying felix's eyes.

He runs some tap water to drown out the sounds of felix crying, kneeling down on the floor sitting felix on the toilet chan tries to have a 1 on 1 conversation hoping to ease the weight on felix's shoulders.

"Talk to me.." chan asks in a serious and soft voice

Felix covering his face with his hands sobbing, tears dripping between his fingers and onto his hoodie.

"I...cant" felix replies

"You cant what felix?" chan asks rubbing his thighs to help calm him

"I cant fuck us up" felix said sobbing more 

"Youre not though lix, you havent done anything were all happy youre here with us, please just tell me whats on your mind.." chan asked pained to see the younger boy he cares about crying infront of him. 

"Not them..me and you chan.." felix muffled by the sound of his sleeves, puffy eyes looking straight at the floor. Never making eye contact with chan

"Me and you?" Chan looked up at the younger male  
"Theres nothing wrong with me and you lix" he smiled at felix to reassure him "youre doing great." 

Felix finally had stopped crying alot and was able to collect his thoughts alittle more. Looking down at chans hand on his thigh. Every vein going through his arm. How good he looked kneeling before him. 

"I think theres something wrong with me.." felix said fiddling with his sleeves finding anything to do besides look chan in the eyes. 

Chan brushed the hair away from felix's eyes to keep the tears out of it. 

"Chan.. i think i might be gay.." felix said expecting chan to tell him to just keep it a secret until his 7 years are over with the company 

But no, chan smiled up at him, the biggest smile on his face. 

"Im so happy for you felix" chan said grabbing felix's hand in his own 

Felix started crying again knowing his leader accepted him with only those 6 words. 

"Dont hide that felix." "We love you okay. None of us would ever judge you on that." "Sure we may not all be gay but we love you felix just as you are." Chan still smiling at felix proud of him. 

"Its you chan, im crushing on you, every single fucking thing about you" Felix looked at him all puffy eyed

Chan stood up at this point embracing felix into a hug.  
"Come here felix, youre okay. Youre allowed youre feelings." Chan said while releasing felix "we can talk more about it after you shower, but no more crying okay?" 

"Okay.." felix replied waiting for chan to leave and then showering. He felt better about the situation he didnt feel the urge to cry anymore other than hungry he felt okay.

After hopping out the shower he went and ate breakfast with the members chan saving him a seat and a plate of food just being a good leader of course. 

Felix sits down and eats, after awhile the members are leaving 1 by 1, felix occasionally making eye contact with chan making felix look away or down at his food. 

Chan gets up and walks off, putting his plate in the sink and cleaning it then going back to his room passing all the members playing games on the switch. 

Felix eats alittle more but inevitably does the same thing, getting into the room and gently calling out to chan 

"Chan hyung?" 

"Yea felix?" Chan replies looking down from the bunk where the younger male is standing 

"Come hop up here with me felix" 

Felix looks surprised but climbs up anyway 

"Lay next to me" chan says patting the bed next to himself 

Felix crawls up next to him and lays down looking up at the ceiling, chan looking at his phone before shutting it off and rolling over to face felix 

"So you like me huh?" Chan teases felix 

"Yeah i do, alot i think" felix replies in his usual deep toned voice still looking at the same spot on the ceiling 

"Look at me felix" chan says using his hand to guide felix's face to look at him 

"I told you the day you were eliminated youre part of us and im not leaving you behind and i meant that." Chan says softly but seriously sliding his finger under felix's chin bringing him closer to him 

"I want to kiss you so bad right now felix.." chan says looking at his lips then back to his eyes. 

Felix looks at him for a second terrified of the thoughts but happy. 

"Fuck it." Felix says kissing chan immediately after and getting on top of his waist leaning into the kiss. 

Chan cupping felix's face between his hands looking at how beautiful felix looked sitting on top of him hair falling in his face, how soft felix's lips are. 

How felix's hands were too small to even wrap around chans wrists, how slender he was compared to chan. 

And just like that felix was completely being embraced by chan. Arms wrapped around him completely, just able to look at the man he longed for, the man who protected him from the beginning. 

He truly felt at home with chan, he didnt want to leave that moment hes in right now. To be loved so dearly as who he is. He couldn't stop looking at how attractive chan was up close, felix's head against his chest. 

Thank you bang chan. Felix says cuddled up against him hopefully able to finally get a good rest. 

Bangchan gives him a kiss on the forehead letting felix fall asleep in his arms. Still embracing him until he could sleep peacefully, swearing he would protect him for as long as he can.


End file.
